When women don’t support women, writing confident emails, & Girls, Inc.
Issue #10 - January 19, 2024
→ when women are the problem.
I wrote a post yesterday about my struggles with not being paid equally, especially at the very first company I worked for.
& because I’m a big ole chicken and I didn’t want to dog that company on LinkedIn, I thought I’d do it from the safety of my own newsletter 😂
Kidding. (kinda)
A recap: the company I worked for had designated pay levels (PLs) for each job. The day I hired in, they put me in a supervisor position that I was not expecting at all. That job was 2 PLs above the entry-level spot that was on my offer letter.
So after my training period, I started asking to be paid equally. Doesn’t feel like it should be so hard to get your boss & HR department to comply with company policy, but boy was it. The last time I asked, I was told, “You know.. you wouldn’t want people to start thinking you’re greedy.” Verbatim. Trust me, I remember very clearly the horrible things people have said to me, it’s a problem :).
What I didn’t say on LinkedIn was this: that person was a female.
She was the head of HR at this mill. She was the only female on the lead team. She was the only person who looked like me who had made it to the top of the mill leadership structure.
& she told me to stop being so greedy when I asked to be paid the same as the other men who had this job.
& I think this brings up an interesting conversation topic: when women don’t support other women.
I genuinely have no judgement of her. I don’t know what in the world was going through her head. No clue why she wouldn’t support the equality of women as one of the best positioned people in the mill to do so. (ok - tiny bit of judgement)
But I can own this - I have felt really competitive with other women before, and was frankly quite jealous when they succeeded and I didn’t.
I was living in this scarcity mindset: that if another female succeeded, I definitely couldn’t. In 8 years of working in manufacturing, this HR manager was the only female on any lead team I worked for. So it made me competitive.
But then I realized that success is only finite when you have a zero-sum mindset. Her success meant I wouldn’t have any. But that’s not true if we start expanding these tables & making room for more at them. It’s not true if we start seeing more women at the top & believing we can get there too.
I don’t know where you are on your journey to supporting other women, moms, or the little girls watching. But I promise you this - the responsibility of making this world equal for everyone belongs to us. We can’t push it off on the next generation or sit by and just hope things get better.
So you can join me in supporting equal pay for women. You can join me in supporting moms - whatever way they decide to parent. You can join me in making things more even for my little girl, & yours.
I really hope you will ❤️
→ writing confident emails
You probably fire off a couple dozen emails a day. And if you’re anything like I am, it takes a long time to strike the perfect balance between needing to get stuff done & still being polite. First, I’d like to release you from the expectation that you strike this balance perfectly every time, or at all.
Second, here are my tips for straightforward & authoritative email communication:
Eliminate qualifiers in your emails - you don’t need them. They only serve to soften your message.
Just: “I was just wondering if…”
Actually: “I’m actually writing to confirm…”
Sorry: “So sorry for bothering you again…”
!!!!!!!!: “Thanks so much! I look forward to hearing from you! Have a great day! Hope your dog is feeling better!”
“I’m no expert, but…”
“I’m not 100% sure, but…”
Edit out fluff
When writing an email, what are the 1 or 2 main points you are trying to get across?
Ditch the fluff that makes those 2 main points hard to find.
Clear = kind, unclear = unkind (shout out to Brene Brown)
Flip negative phrases to positive ones
Sorry for the delay -> Thanks for your patience
I don’t know if this makes sense -> Let me know if there’s anything I need to clarify
I’m not sure about that -> I will need some time to figure it out.
Try them! Write your emails & then edit them with these tips. I promise no one will think you’re a monster or rude or aggressive. They’ll probably be happy that they don’t have to sift through mountains of fluff to get to the point.
Remember what Brené Brown says: “clear = kind, unclear = unkind.”
→ Links
A friend of mine, Tara Moler, founder of Motherhood Balanced, is hosting a 2024 compass workshop this Wednesday. She’ll walk you through a workshop to set your priorities for the year so you can make confident decisions without guilt. Sign up here!
The instagram account that I positively cannot stop reposting.
My favorite organization to donate to: Girls, Inc. “We are driven by the vision of powerful girls in an equitable society.” Check out their website to see if they have a location near you - there are 350 sites in the U.S.!
That’s all for this week! Can’t wait to see you on January 18th at our Ditching Workplace Toxicity workshop.
as always,
I’m rooting for you.
xx, Hannah