Not another article on self-care, ditching the labels, & Rupi Kaur poems.
Issue #13 - February 2024
ā self care isnāt just going to happen to you.
NOT ANOTHER POST ABOUT SELF CARE.
I know. Listen, everywhere we look these days the self care buzzwords and phrases are flying. Boundaries, taking time for yourself, not apologizing for it, no to mom guilt, all of it.
But today, I want to share something about self care that may not be so obvious to you.
Yes - self care is something you should be doing so that you can connect with yourself and feel rested occasionally. It equips you to better tackle your work + personal life responsibilities.
But this is true about self care: it requires sacrifice.
Rarely will anyone approach you with a big steaming platter of self care for you to enjoy with no effort.
I realized this when I was working with my business coach, and she was talking about setting nonnegotiables in your day - cold showers, journaling, hype dances, etc.
And I thought to myself - OK well, I have a kid and Iām trying to run a business. So, Iām not exactly sure where Iām supposed to fit those things in? HA how silly of her.
But then I rememberedā¦. she has a young kid. Sheās running a business much bigger than mine. & suddenly, I realize that I have no excuses.
I just simply wasnāt willing to sacrifice in order to make those things happen, and she was.
But nowā¦
I sacrifice 1 hour of sleep every morning to journal, meditate, & drink coffee in peace.
I sacrifice 1 hour with my daughter in the morning so that I can make it to the gym before my day starts.
I sacrifice watching TV to catch up with my husband in the evenings
So if you feel like you never have time to engage in any self care activities, it is important to ask yourself if thereās something you should be sacrificing so that you can.
Itās not always fun or easy to make it happen, but once you see and feel how beneficial it can be for your mental health, I think those sacrifices become easier over time. Eventually, they donāt feel like sacrifices at all.
ā hi, iām shy and stubborn. how are you?
Last week, I was getting ready in the morning to go to a conference 45 minutes away. Iāve never attended a conference with this organization, and I didnāt know a single person who was going.
A few years ago, I wouldāve never even signed up to go if I didnāt know someone there. Like, full stop. Iām not going and you cannot make me.
But it dawned on me while I was getting ready that it hadnāt even crossed my mind - that old anxiety telling me I wouldnāt be able to manage the awkward small talk and pleasantries with people I donāt know.
I remember in 2nd grade, I was given this end of year superlative: SHY. All the other kids had things like FUNNY, OUTGOING, POSITIVE, SMART. And basically, mine said: sheās not much of anything š¤·š»āāļø!
[ A word on giving kids superlatives like these - stop! :) ]
And that word followed me around for a lot of my life. It became a part of my identity that I didnāt love, but couldnāt shake. I wouldāve much rather been the smart or funny one, but how can I escape this label that everyone deems appropriate for me?
The other label I got a lot as a kid was STUBBORN. I basically had two modes: shy and observant or fighting and mad.
& I donāt think anyone talks about how hard it is to overcome the things you believe about yourself at a young age. They stick with you. Theyāre impossible to shake because you donāt even realize that youāve internalized them.
As for shyness, as a department manager of 120 people, constantly fielding vendor conversations, leading meetings, & building relationships, shyness just simply wasnāt an option anymore. I learned small talk. I taught myself to be outgoing. I exist now as the person I used to be only when Iād had a couple glasses of wine š. Now, most people who meet me genuinely canāt believe Iām not an extrovert at heart.
As for stubbornness, I still canāt shake this one. But Iāve decided to put a positive spin on it. Stubbornness isnāt a bad thing, actually. It means I have STRONG resolve about what I believe and know, and youāre gonna have to put in the effort to change my mind. That means Iām secure in who I know myself to be, and Iām deeply passionate about the things that motivate me.
So my question for you today is this - what labels have you been carrying around?
Is it time to ditch them, or maybe rewrite their meaning for your life?
One label I do have for you is powerful, which means you have the power to do whatever you need with those labels. Try it.
ā Links
My second best LinkedIn post - from last Wednesday. I was literally like - this is a throw away. Oh well! But apparently it resonated with a lot of people. Read here!
Travis Kelce attending Taylor Swiftās concert is him being a supportive boyfriend! But Taylor Swift attending Travis Kelceās game is her being a distraction. This is a good article about it.
15 inspiring Rupi Kaur poems for when life gets you down: here.
Thatās all for this week!
as always,
Iām rooting for you.
xx, Hannah