ā when i finally told my boss i was pregnantā¦
Back in 2021, I finally got the promotion Iād been working towards for three years - the pulp & woodyard superintendent role. When I got the job, my husband and I decided to delay having our first child for a while.
And 2 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant.
You know what they say - tell God your plans & he will absolutely laugh at you.
My boss didnāt even make me interview for the position - thatās how sure he was that Iād accept, and also how prepared he felt I was for the role.
So then when I found out I was pregnant, I was intensely afraid that heād be disappointed. Disappointed that I wouldnāt be able to work as hard, that Iād not have the time anymore to put into my department, that Iād be going out on maternity leave, that Iād potentially quit my job altogether. The anxious thoughts were swirling.
I worked through the first trimester, through an annual outage where my team and I were regularly putting in 16 hour days for 2 weeks, and then a few weeks into my second trimester.
It was becoming glaringly obvious that I hadnāt just had too many tacos for lunch, but was in fact growing a baby, so I figured I had to bite the bullet and tell him.
And yall - the anxiety I had built up in my mind around the conversation was 100% unfounded.
He was supportive, excited, & all around surprisingly lovely about it. In our first conversation after showing him the ultrasound, I remember him telling me that my baby was #1, and heād support every decision Iād be forced to make in the coming months.
& all of that turned out to be true.
This conversation taught me two things:
anxiety blows things out of proportion in our minds. (worry not, this is not the part where i tell you to just stop being anxious š) but what I will tell you is this - when we let anxiety run rampant, we often get to a place where we think the worst about a person or situation, instead of just letting that person or situation speak for itself. give people the opportunity to be who they are without anxiety getting in the way, when possible.
conversations NOW are ALWAYS easier than conversations LATER. this is a fact, and i will not be accepting examples of when this sentence is not 100% true at this time. you know what happens when you wait to have an important conversation? anxiety, resentment, anger, frustration - it all builds because of those 1-sided conversations youāre having in your head. you know the ones.
I did end up quitting my job, and my boss was supportive ātil the very last email I sent letting my crews know Iād be leaving.
People MAY just surprise you, if you give them the opportunity to.
ā iām such a rule follower.
Maybe itās my engineering brain, maybe itās growing up with 5 siblings and craving order. Whatever it is, I love a good rule.
If you tell me to be somewhere at 5:00PM, I consider myself late at 4:55PM. My therapist often tells me to stop apologizing for being on time. Then I usually apologize for apologizing. Itās a whole thing.
So yes, I love a rule. But also as Iāve gotten āolder and thus all knowingā (an Olaf the Snowman quote, duh) Iāve started questioning some of these rules that society tells us are hard and fast.
And I think to some degree, if you want to be evolving or progressive, itās imperative that you question the status quo in whatever way feels right to you.
Here are some examples of rules that you may want to question:
accepting someoneās authority in your life just because of their title or age
listening to the advice of people who have followers but no credentials
foregoing your own intuition because of something you read in a book
not talking about money because itās taboo
not letting your toddlers splash in puddles
doing things everyone elseās way even if it feels wrong to you
the goal always being growth + success rather than stability + consistency
being 100% available to everyone right when they need you
eating breakfast foods only between the hours of 7-11AM
Iām not necessarily in the ārules are designed to be brokenā camp, but I do think that we are individuals with unique needs and goals in life. And that may require us to pick and choose which ones serve us and which do not.
So go forth: break some rules todayā¦ or, ya know, cautiously bend them if thatās more your style.
ā Links
The best meme Iāve seen about the super bowl half time performance. LOL thank god for usher.
My favorite yoga pants lately. I simply never take them off! Yes, theyāre $100, but since I wear them so much, the cost per wear basically is cents on the dollar. Girl math = theyāre practically FREE at this point. I have them in the midnight green.
the only sippy cup in the world that doesnāt get moldy, leak, or break when toddlers inevitably throw them out of the high chair. and ya, i feel confident about saying that. iāve tried hundreds.
Thatās all for this week!
as always,
Iām rooting for you.
xx, Hannah